But when you "correct" your children with resentment, then resentment only reinforces what is wrong in the child. The wrong—your wrong—gets in, but correction stays out. The same kind of thing often occurs with students. They may be eager to learn at first, but an impatient teacher can easily ruin all of that. The student reacts defensively to the hostility of the teacher, which keeps knowledge out and lets errant behavior in.
So it is very important to be patient when attempting to correct other people. You must be forceful enough to drive the point home, but without resentment. The force I speak of is love, a deep, abiding caring, backed by the absolute certainty of the good you are doing and the knowledge of what is right. Remember, you can’t be like that when you are upset and angry too! Meditate on this fact before you go to war with the error in others.
The problem in this world lies with wrong authority. People are hurt by all kinds of wrong authorities. However, it is good for them to recognize and respond to a good authority because it reverses the effect of responding to the bad one.
I remember people giving me good advice which I never took in my early years. Looking back, I realize that if those people who gave those words of advice had spoken with love, it would have jolted me to realize what I needed to realize then. I would not have made so many errors.”
- Roy Masters - Proper Discipline